Destined For Greatness

I'm feeling lost right now; REALLY lost..


I've always had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life; where I wanted to go, the things I wanted to do. It wasn't until the other day, that I realized what I thought I had wanted to do, well...wasn't really what I wanted to do. It was just another early Monday morning, and I was sitting in my 7:30am English class. Naturally, I wasn't paying attention because it was so early. That morning I had rolled out of bed, threw on some sweats and a sweatshirt, and needless to say, I was feeling like I looked; busted. There was a group presenting at the front of the room, but I was more focused on the guy who was coughing all on the back of my neck. Ew. It wasn't until this girl started talking about what she wanted to do with her life, and her plans to become a lawyer, that I stopped paying attention to the germs that were being coughed all over me, and more to what she was saying. Actually, it was they way she was talking. She was so enthusiastic, so animated, so excited, about the plans she had for herself. You could tell she was passionate about studying law, and it was at that point that I realized I wanted to be just as excited as she was.

For those of you who don't know, my major is Communications. I eventually wanted to open my own advertising/marketing/pr firm. Now I'm not so sure. I've always wanted to be something cool like a wedding planner or a crime scene investigator (ya know, like the ones on The First 48) I have one of those personalities where I need to be busy all the time. I can't be stuck in the office all day. So now, I'm thinking about changing my major, but I'm almost halfway done with my 4 years of college. Oy! What am I gonna do? I can't wait to tell my parents, "Hey guys, you know all that money you just paid for my comm. classes? Well, turns out I won't be needing those..."(pause) See my parents never stray from their original plans; maybe that's where I get my uptightness from? (Ugh, that's another story) But moving on, they won't be happy nonetheless. However, I don't really care what they say. This is my life, and I want to be happy.

 I believe we were all put on this Earth with a gift from God; Be it singing, dancing, or something simple such as having the ability to listen and comfort people. For the past few days, I've been trying to figure out exactly what my gift is. I'm worried; what if I never really find what makes me happy? I was playing the "What if" game with myself when I had to stop and say, "Wait. Jess, how old are you?" Sometimes I forget I'm just 19. It's not like I have to discover my life's calling right at this exact moment. Lately, I find myself in this rush to grow up. Technically, I'm an "adult," but at the same time I'm still NINE-TEEN. Pretty soon, I'll be 29 wondering where the time went. With that being said, from now on, when I feel the urge to rush and be grown I'll check myself. I want to enjoy my life, and the people in it for what it is right now.

I still have no clue as to what I'm going to do yet. I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm destined for something great; I just don't know what that is yet. I know one day I'll discover it, and I'll be happy as can be. I'm on a self discovery to find out who I am, and what I was put on this earth to do.

 Do you know what you were put here for?

My Birthday.

This year, I had one of the most amazing birthdays I could ever ask for. I celebrated with my friends and family, and there's still more fun to come! Around this time last year, my life would soon change and I would have never imagined I would experience all that I did.

18 was a big year for me. A LOT happened, and it changed me in a ton of ways. Although a very tough year, I will always look back on being 18 and smile because I got to experience so many wonderful things like, falling in love for the first time. Ah, yes...this was one of my personal favorites. Although things didn't end up the best, I will never ever forget this part of my life. (Kay, I'm gonna get a little bit sappy for a second but..) I got a chance to fall in love with one of the most amazing men that I know. Regardless of what anyone has to say, he still inspires me to be the best woman that I can be, and I will always love, and look up to him.

The second best thing that happened to me over this past year was my job. I received an amazing opportunity to work with one of the most smartest women that I know. I got to travel and play in LA and work with so many new people. Kim, Jasmine, Liana, Tia, Ahmondra, Pam, and Terri. All these women are so amazing, beautiful, and powerful and I learned so much from working with them. 

Aside from work, I survived my first year of college! It wasn't as difficult as I thought it was going to be, and I actually somewhat enjoyed it. Now, almost halfway done with my sophomore year, I look forward to transfering to Arizona State next fall semester. That will be a whole new and exciting chapter in my life, and I can't even begin to express how excited I am to be moving away from home.

Welp, another Birthday has come and passed, and I'm looking forward to what being 19 brings me. My grandma told me today, "Enjoy your last year as a "teen," because once you hit your twenties, it'll fly by like no other." Well I'm definitely going to enjoy this last year, and I'm ready to fully embrace whatever comes my way, good or bad.



  

My Cheer Babies

Recently, I decided to volunteer and coach an all girls Cheer team at Aviara Elementary School in Carlsbad. Cheer was something that I loved so much in high school, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to be able to teach younger girls something that I was so passionate about. So far, we've only had two practices and boy do these girls got some energy! We always start off practice with a game of Dance freeze tag. They LOVE to dance and I love how spunky they are. Each one of them has they're own cute personality, and  I can't wait to see how much they develop and improve as the weeks go on.

This is Jenna and she is 7. She reminds me of Taylor Swift and she is the quietest one on the team. She's talks really low,but when we do cheers, she's the loudest! I see a ton of potential in her :)

This is Brittany and she is 7 as well. She is a little scatterbrained at times. She likes to eat the entire practice. lol Even while gettin her GRUB ON she still learns the cheers and she catches on fast.

This is Tayla and she is 6. She is super girly and preppy. She's a good listener and fast learner! She's kind of the mom of the group, helping when someone is lost with the counts, or hurt. She always makes it a point to let everyone know that HER mom was a cheerleader too :)

This is Daniella and she is 6. She's a quiet one, but once we get going she gets super excited and does all the cheers full out!















This is Tessa and she is 5. She is one of my favorites and her favorite game is Tag. This girl has some serious energy too! From beginning to end she is up runnin' around..

This is Malia, and she is 5. She is my absolute favorite! She is the smallest one, but she is so cute! She brings her own pom poms and she is just an all around diva.

Dear Daddy, you are appreciated..

What would I have done without my dear old dad? Recently, my friend Jeremy claimed that, "You can tell alot about a girl based off the length of her nails, width of her heels, & volume she speaks of her father." To me, the volume in which a girl speaks of  her father determines the length of the nails and heels. Now obviously, this is just a metaphor for a greater concept. I can't speak on what it's like to grow up without a dad, because I had one. However, I do have many girlfriends who have grown up without a father, and I have seen the affects it has had on them.

 Growing up, my dad taught me to always respect myself. He taught me to have standards and hold men to higher expectations. Of course there have been times where I didn't listen and had to find out the hard way, that my dad knew what he was talking about. He's shown me how to be independent, and  he's shown me the way a man should treat a woman. I can only imagine what I would be like if he hadn't been there. Actually, I know exactly what I would've been like. I would've been like some of my girlfriends- The ones who sleep with just any guy, the ones who don't respect themselves, and the ones who let men treat them like crap because they haven't had a dad to demonstrate HOW a man should treat a woman. Don't get me wrong, not just women who have grown up without a father do these things. Many women who have grown up with both parents, do these things as well. However, I believe women without fathers are more susceptible to doing these kinds of things.

I really got to thinking... Not only about how an absent father affects a woman, but how it affects a man. Do men have daddy issues as well? For instance, a man that is raised by only his mother. How is he affected? How does he learn to do the manly things? Does his mom teach him, or does he simply learn on his own? If I was a single mom raising a son, I would know I couldn't teach him how to be a man. Only a man could do that. I could teach him to respect women and how to treat them, but that would only do so much. How does growing up with only a woman affect the way a man interacts with women when he is older?

I know what it's like not to have a parent growing up. Those of us who have grown up missing a mother or father know the emotional scars it can leave. No matter how much we say it doesn't bother us, deep down it truly does. I think that's why I'm so adamant about not having kids until I'm married. I want my kids to grow up with both parents. A mother who can teach her daughter how to be a woman, and a father who can teach his son how to be a man. The obvious is that both women and men are affected by the absence of a father. I applaud all the women who are father-less and have learned to conduct themselves in a respectable way. I have great respect for the men who learned how to be responsible and hard working without fathers.

From the bottom of my heart, I am thankful for my dad and everything he has done for me. At times, we have our moments but who doesn't? When I think about it, I'm grateful it was my mother that skipped out on me, instead of my dad. Thank You daddy, I love you..

Maybe..

I need to get a bike rack. lol It's quite a production to fit this thing into my car, and even a bigger one to get it out! Today, me and Jen went on another bike ride and it was great. For some reason I've been wanting to be outdoors more, and riding my bike is just relaxing. PLUS it's a good workout and contributes to getting my sexy back :)

Change of Plans

For this weekend, I wasn't planning on spending it with my family. I had already had big plans with my girls to go out and celebrate for her birthday. BUT due to the vma's we decided to wait until next weekend to make it happen. Although I was disappointed it turned out to be a good day. It started off at Lamar and Cameron's baseball game. It was a total blowout and they lost, but overall it was a good game. You can't tell from this picture, but we had like 4 umbrellas up. We looked like we were at the beach instead of a baseball game, but shoot! it was HOT! It was nice being outside for a little while though.

The next thing we did was have a family dinner. It's been FOREVER since all of us have gone out, and I think we were all looking forward to it. We always get some good laughs in (at eachother's expense, of course) and it's just a good time.

This is my whole family, minus one of the Cam's. (he's the one taking the picture) Being with my family makes me think about having my own family someday. We have so much fun when we're all together, and I want that with my husband and kids. I can't wait until my brothers and I get married and have families of our own. I can already picture us having family get togethers and our kids playing together :)

Me and Cam. He wasn't in the first family pic so I had
to include him in here somewhere!

Beautiful Sunsets

Came home from the gym to the setting sun. Naturally, I wouldn't have stopped, but something about the way the light was coming through the leaves of the trees caught my eye.  I don't know what it is, but I love this time of day. At this time it's like the world slows down, and becomes serene for just a few minutes. Just think, while our day is ending here, someone else's day is just beginning...