Destined For Greatness

I'm feeling lost right now; REALLY lost..


I've always had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life; where I wanted to go, the things I wanted to do. It wasn't until the other day, that I realized what I thought I had wanted to do, well...wasn't really what I wanted to do. It was just another early Monday morning, and I was sitting in my 7:30am English class. Naturally, I wasn't paying attention because it was so early. That morning I had rolled out of bed, threw on some sweats and a sweatshirt, and needless to say, I was feeling like I looked; busted. There was a group presenting at the front of the room, but I was more focused on the guy who was coughing all on the back of my neck. Ew. It wasn't until this girl started talking about what she wanted to do with her life, and her plans to become a lawyer, that I stopped paying attention to the germs that were being coughed all over me, and more to what she was saying. Actually, it was they way she was talking. She was so enthusiastic, so animated, so excited, about the plans she had for herself. You could tell she was passionate about studying law, and it was at that point that I realized I wanted to be just as excited as she was.

For those of you who don't know, my major is Communications. I eventually wanted to open my own advertising/marketing/pr firm. Now I'm not so sure. I've always wanted to be something cool like a wedding planner or a crime scene investigator (ya know, like the ones on The First 48) I have one of those personalities where I need to be busy all the time. I can't be stuck in the office all day. So now, I'm thinking about changing my major, but I'm almost halfway done with my 4 years of college. Oy! What am I gonna do? I can't wait to tell my parents, "Hey guys, you know all that money you just paid for my comm. classes? Well, turns out I won't be needing those..."(pause) See my parents never stray from their original plans; maybe that's where I get my uptightness from? (Ugh, that's another story) But moving on, they won't be happy nonetheless. However, I don't really care what they say. This is my life, and I want to be happy.

 I believe we were all put on this Earth with a gift from God; Be it singing, dancing, or something simple such as having the ability to listen and comfort people. For the past few days, I've been trying to figure out exactly what my gift is. I'm worried; what if I never really find what makes me happy? I was playing the "What if" game with myself when I had to stop and say, "Wait. Jess, how old are you?" Sometimes I forget I'm just 19. It's not like I have to discover my life's calling right at this exact moment. Lately, I find myself in this rush to grow up. Technically, I'm an "adult," but at the same time I'm still NINE-TEEN. Pretty soon, I'll be 29 wondering where the time went. With that being said, from now on, when I feel the urge to rush and be grown I'll check myself. I want to enjoy my life, and the people in it for what it is right now.

I still have no clue as to what I'm going to do yet. I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm destined for something great; I just don't know what that is yet. I know one day I'll discover it, and I'll be happy as can be. I'm on a self discovery to find out who I am, and what I was put on this earth to do.

 Do you know what you were put here for?